How To Process Emotional Pain

All emotional pain needs to be fully processed in the present moment as soon as it happens, or it will be stored in the body as uncomfortable energy. As Eckhart Tolle shares, “As long as you are unable to access the power of the Now, every emotional pain that you experience leaves behind a residue of pain that lives on in you.”

As emotions accumulate, the emotional pain body feels energetically heavier, preventing you from feeling inner peace and having ongoing access to your intuition. Some people’s pain bodies are dormant most of the time, only awakening when triggered. Others have active pain bodies much of the time.

The Content and Energy in Emotional Pain

Every emotion has two aspects. 1. There is the content of an emotion, which is what the emotion is about, the memories, the story, and what you cognitively understand about its origins. 2. And, there is the energy of an emotion. The energy in an emotion is experienced as a charge in the body. Most people focus on changing the content of an emotion, but this does not reduce the uncomfortable charge in the body.

Avoiding The Present Moment

When you hold incomplete emotional energies in your body, those energy patterns will press into your awareness, demanding to be felt and completed in the present moment. This is why many aim to distract themselves from the present moment. Most people are reluctant to turn and face old emotions, fearing they will be overwhelmed.

This avoidance of the present moment leads to addictions that help us stay away from the emotional pain that is arising to heal. All addictions, both mild and severe, delay emotional healing. Because all healing occurs in the present moment, all of life would optimally be a present-moment meditation.

Resolving Incomplete Emotions

Whenever we can deeply relax into the present moment, we can sense where emotional pain is stored. The body wants to flow and be free of anything foreign and unnatural. The stressed tissues and fibers in the body want to unwind. This unwinding activity initially creates mental agitation and anxiety.  

If you can quiet your thoughts enough to notice the strongest area of emotional pain in your body, it will initially feel stronger than normal because you are allowing yourself to focus on it. If you continue to focus on it, it will gradually soften and become less intense. As your pain dissipates, you can bring your awareness closer to what remains of the emotion until it is gone, taking breaks if necessary.

It is exceedingly common to avoid feeling old emotional pain. This deep avoidance comes from childhood and the decision not to feel painful or overwhelming feelings. Suppression of emotions stops the completion of their movement all the way through the body.

When processing old emotions, it is essential to acknowledge the need for dual consciousness. There is the higher soul, witnessing part of you, and also a place of old, unfinished emotional (ego) pain in your body. In other words, you must not identify with the ego’s pain as you. It is something you are presencing to, from a higher, more mature sense of yourself.

To lessen emotional overwhelm, you can adjust how close or far away you place your attention on the discomfort in your body. If you're feeling too overwhelmed, try backing off by taking your attention away from the sensation for a bit. Adjust the witnessing distance so you can still feel the emotional energy, but not so close that it becomes overwhelming.

Cultivating Strength of Presence

Spiritual teacher Kim Eng explains that processing past suffering requires considerable strength. As such, it is common to be exhausted during this process. The best way to approach this essential work is to allow yourself the time and space to go into it and feel whatever you need.

VIDEO:

How Do I Process Old Pain?

Your body is where all your emotions from life experiences are stored. And, because many of the painful emotions that you experienced in the past were not empathically held by another person, you can learn to gently do this for yourself.

This meditation will support you to build a stronger and steadier empathic presence to the uncomfortable emotions in your body, whether they are vague or intense.

LISTEN TO MEDITATION