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Writer's pictureShelley Klammer

Releasing Anxious Control

Meditation on Insight Timer App


Unconsciously (usually from a wounded place inside), you might be ruled by rigid expectations about how things should go. Yet, seeking control over other people and your environment is a form of anxiety. Control asserts itself from the unconscious belief that you will not be okay if things outside you do not happen in a certain way.


Paradoxically, you can never control outside forces, and so you will increase stress and anxiety when you try to control. Control externalizes the conditions under which you can feel okay. It bases your well-being on outside conditions you have no control over.


To release the compulsion to control, you must shift your focus away from everything outside your control and instead focus on changing what is within your control. For example, how someone else thinks, feels, or behaves is not within your control. You can only control how you think, feel and behave.


Releasing that which is outside of your control is an act of trust, which is the opposite of anxiety. Letting go of the need to control or try to change other people can interfere with their life journey. Letting go of needing other people or life to be different correlates with "The Law of Non-Interference." This spiritual law advises that you stand back and let other adults make their own choices, even if you think you are wiser and "know better."


Mark E. Wilkins, PhD, author of Spiritual Laws You Must Know, states, "We’ve all been there, wanting to swoop in and save the day, but sometimes, the best superhero cape is staying out of it.


Noninterference plays an essential role in personal growth and spiritual evolution. It teaches us to respect boundaries and honor free will. By not meddling where we shouldn’t, we allow others the space to learn and grow on their own terms."


This principle challenges us to focus on our own journey and trust in the natural flow of life. Embracing noninterference can lead to profound self-discovery and a deeper connection with the universe."


When drowning in negative emotions, we feel anxious and want to control and change others. In this meditation, you will learn how to find your anxiety in your body instead of projecting it into the world. Once you accept that you are anxiously controlling, you can move into the warmth of your heart. Focusing on what you have the power to change within yourself will build enough strength to soften your fear.


When you shift your anxiety into the kindness in your heart, you can touch into the vulnerability of your original nature. Tending to your precious vulnerability meets the deeper emotional need underneath the anxious compulsion to control. Resting softly in your vulnerable heart is a way to transform your anxiety into self-love.



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