"Small-t trauma happens from events, often hidden or unacknowledged within an apparently normal life." ~ Hilary Jacobs Hendel
Francine Shapiro, the creator of a trauma treatment called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) introduced the concept of Large-T Trauma and small-t trauma in 1977.
Small-t traumas represent adverse life experiences that do not typically contribute to a PTSD diagnosis; yet, they still need continuous loving attention because they represent the wounding of your inner child and inner teen.
List of "small-t" Traumas
This list of "small-t traumas" is inspired and informed by counselor Hilary Jacobs Hendel in her book, "It's Not Always Depression." And, I have added in a few myself.
Childhood and Teenage "small-t traumas"
A shortage of physical affection
The absence of attention and eye contact
A lack of emotional attunement and understanding
Emotional abuse such as being yelled at, called names, manipulated, taken advantage of, threatened with abandonment, etc.
Being bullied by parents, siblings, peers, or others
Being ignored
Having overbearing or controlling parents
Getting too much attention, (intrusion), overstimulation
Not succeeding in school
Feeling like you could not measure up to parental standards or sibling accomplishments - i.e. not book smart, athletic, extraverted, or socially adept
Feeling unseen and unrecognized for your gifts and talents
Feeling different or alone for any reason, including but not limited to feeling ostracized for your gender, mental or physical disability, mental or physical illness, sexual orientation, learning disability, body type, weight, socioeconomic status, cultural issues, etc.
Moving
Parents divorcing and remarrying
Blending families
Being adopted
Having a sick parent or sibling, or a family member dying
Having a parent incarcerated for a crime
Having a depressed parent
Having a parent who was traumatized or who had a mental illness or personality disorder such as narcissism or borderline personality disorder
Poverty
Oppression
Misogyny
Being the target of prejudice or judgment
Emigrating
Inability to meet social expectations - cultural, religious, community
It is important to note that small-t traumas are not less significant than Large-T Traumas. Consider that Large-T Traumas such as rape, murder, or torture are similar to one large deep knife wound, whereas consistent adverse life experiences (small-t traumas) are similar to 15 shallow stabbings. You can bleed to death from both.
Most people tend to minimize the impact of repetitive small-t traumas, believing if they didn't survive a major disaster, their trauma is somehow less valid, and therefore they should not need support. However, all adverse life experiences left unhealed do lead to problems eventually. And, many small-t traumas can add up to big problems.
The good news is, with love and persistence, all adverse experiences can be acknowledged and repaired.
With love,
Shelley