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Reconciling Inner Conflict

The Positive Aspects of Polarized Parts

An inner conflict is a polarization in which two opposite parts are fighting inside. When you are in inner turmoil, it is best not to diminish or erase either side of your conflict. When resolving an inner conflict, it is important not to come to a bland compromise, but to appreciate the positive intentions and strengths of both conflicting parts of self so that you can come up with a transformative solution that is inclusive.

Reconciling Conflicting Aspects of Self

We all have aspects of ourselves that long to grow forward, while other aspects (still hurting) want to hold us back. The most important thing to understand when you are addressing an inner conflict is that every part of yourself is trying to help you in some way.

I have a large collection of books on the topic of emotional healing, and I recently came across an old book written by Verlaine Crawford called "Ending the Battle Within." She developed a great way to heal inner conflict called "The Infusion Process" which has inspired me to write this journal exercise for you.

The Infusion Integration Process

Ask to Speak to the Two Parts in Conflict: Identify the two parts of you that are in conflict. One part of you will typically be wanting to move forward. Another part of you will be holding you back.

Choose Hands to Represent Each Part: Using your left and right hand, assign a hand to each part.

Benefits of Moving Forward: Ask the part of you that wants to grow forward to write a list of all the benefits of moving forward in your life.

Advantages of Holding Back: Ask the part of you that is stopping you in some way: "What are you doing for me? What are the advantages of experiencing this fear? Are you trying to help me in some way?" Write the answers to these questions in your journal.

Considering all Needs Met: Ask the protective part of you (the one that is holding you back) this question: What if all of your needs and concerns were satisfied? Would you be willing to let me have the positive things I want?

When Your Protector Disagrees: If the protective part of you cannot agree to the possibility of having all of its needs met, and really believes in its protective role, ask, "What else do you need in order to let me have what I desire?" Write your answers in your journal until you reach an agreement - a "maybe" will do - then continue.

Visualizing all Needs Met: Imagine the Creator in you (your Higher Self) sitting in a room filled with golden light. Ask your Creator to come up with at least three ways that all needs could be met and write them in your journal. Check with each opposing part to see if these feel like "win-win" solutions.

Symbolic Hand Integration: Hold your hands up in front of you, about two feet apart, with the palms facing each other. In your mind's eye, see the two opposing parts of you facing each other. See the one that is wanting to move forward with health, wealth, love, success, etc. facing the one who has been stopping you.

Bring Your Opposite Parts Together: Slowly bring your two hands together until they are touching. See your two aspects hugging and holding each other. Then, bring both palms, still touching, to your heart. Move one hand over the other and rest your hands on your heart.

Blending: Now see all the personality parts inside you huddling around the two parts that are hugging, sending love, and blending into one whole.

Higher Self Blessing: See your Higher Creator Self sending love to the reconciled parts.

Walking Together: See the two parts of you (that were once in conflict) walking hand in hand, sharing concepts and ideas. Watch them discuss ways to work together in harmony.

Gratitude: Thank the two parts of yourself for reconciling into a win-win collaboration. Let all parts of you know that you are available to listen to them and work with them to accommodate their needs and goals in a supportive way.

With love,



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