People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are driven by shame. If you have a narcissistic person in your life, they will avoid feeling their shame by not taking responsibility for their behaviour. And, typically they will blame you for their problems instead.
Check out the personality traits below to see if you are vulnerable to narcissistic abuse.
Overly Generous: Narcissistic people seek to take from people without giving much back in return. If you are an overly generous person and have trouble receiving back in a reciprocal way, you might be susceptible to overgiving until you feel depleted, demoralized, or even ill.
Overly Trusting: If you idealistically see the good in everyone and think that all people are decent and honest because you are, you will doubt your uneasy feelings about people. Assessing people’s character before letting them into your life is very important. Trust without proper discernment about what feels right and wrong about other people can make you a target for narcissistic abuse.
Overly Responsible: It is important to not take responsibility for people who refuse to take responsibility for themselves. The sharing of responsibility 50/50 is the marker of a healthy relationship. If you are willing to do all the heavy lifting in your relationships, you will be susceptible to having relationships with people who leave everything that is difficult or mundane for you to do.
Unhealed Emotional Wounds: A relationship with a narcissistic person can begin with the hope that this person will save you or protect you from attending to your unhealed emotional wounds. Yet, no one can rescue you. Narcissistic people will find your weak spots and will eventually attack you where you feel most vulnerable.
Weak Boundaries: Narcissistic people aim to guilt you out of your boundaries. If you feel criticized, rejected, ridiculed, abandoned or punished for setting healthy boundaries, it is important to question whether you want to continue with your relationship.
Needy of Love: If you are not loving yourself, you will end up looking for love in "all the wrong places." You will seek love and attention from similar kinds of people who hurt you in the first place. Loving yourself in the places that you feel lacking is the key to attracting and maintaining healthy relationships.
Needy of Approval: Narcissistic people will accuse you of being a bad person in some way. If you do not have a solid sense of self-esteem, you will waste your time trying to prove, to the person that is criticizing you, that you are not a bad person. It is important to know and affirm your goodness, and connect with people who appreciate the goodness that you are.
Needing to Change Others: When you do not have enough self-love, you might try to fix or change other people. However, sorting out your inner life and pursuing your own life purpose needs to be primary. It is not your responsibility to change other people. The true medicine of change is to turn inwards and heal yourself.