Updated: Oct 9, 2019
We try to ignore that we feel resistance to feeling our emotional pain though anxiety, impatience, frustration, anger and rage. Yet, underpinning these secondary (defensive) emotions is our core emotional pain from childhood. As humans, we carry many layers of fear in our being. Fear arises when we fear facing unresolved hurt from childhood, and our painful inherited emotional patterns.
When our developmental needs were not met for safety/survival, bonding, self-esteem and healthy boundaries growing up, we start to embed the fear that our needs will be not met. Fear embeds itself around our emotional wounds. When we become emotionally wounded, the painful event metaphorically becomes scabbed over with fear. The scab then becomes a defense. Defense mechanisms seal off and suppress the emotional pain we are afraid to process.
Resistance, anxiety, impatience, frustration, anger and rage are secondary emotional states that "sit on top" our emotional pain and protect it from being seen and felt. Our defensive ego structure is built to avoid the pain of our unprocessed wounds. Many of us will do almost anything to prevent ourselves from re-feeling past emotional pain. Yet, when we open up the wound and offer love to old hurts, we can heal.
Where do you feel fear in your body? Meditate on this particular "tone" of fear and write down any memories that come spontaneously to mind. We can gently explore these memories in your session.
With much care,